What follows is a list of nine frogs from various video game properties, unrestricted by time, genre, or other arbitrary factors. These are simply nine frogs of exceptional merit, who are worthy of your time and consideration.
Of course, all frogs are worthy of your time and consideration. Frogs are a blessing on this putrid Earth, one that we do not deserve nor properly appreciate, but for the sake of brevity, we have limited this list to but nine of the thousands of potential frogs you may find yourself considering in the near future.
Please note that these frogs are not presented in any particular order — all frogs are valid in their own unique ways.
Frogger
A trailblazing frog of incredible longevity, Frogger‘s admirable attitude of determination and courage is an example for us all. Undaunted by the machinations of a spreading evil (humanity), Frogger used his wit and agility to navigate the horrors of habitat erosion.
There is much to learn from Frogger’s example, as we all find ourselves in a similar existential predicament. Do we let the smoke-blowing machines of an unfeeling economic god squash us flat? Or do we navigate this hell with hope and little green feet, knowing that we will eventually achieve our beautiful, buggy swamp?
The Frog on Parappa the Rapper’s Beanie
I had always hoped that The Frog on Parappa the Rapper’s Beanie would get their own game someday, or maybe a mini-game inside of a Parappa release, but alas, this has not come to pass.
It’s a shame that such a perfect piece of design work should go so criminally underutilized, but maybe that’s part of what makes The Frog on Parappa the Rapper’s Beanie so memorable. Who is this perfect little baby? This sweet little happy darling? If expounded upon, would the result be as satisfying as one would hope? Perhaps it’s best to not take the risk, and leave The Frog on Parappa the Rapper’s Beanie untouched.
Jeremiah
Jeremiah was a bull frog — he was a good friend of mine in Animal Crossing: New Leaf. I think we got along so well because we sought to live the same sort of life.
You see, Jeremiah has a “lazy” personality type, and his personal motto is “sleep before you leap.” His only listed skill is “hitting snooze,” and his greatest aspiration in life is to become a writer. I may not have ever identified so strongly with any character in a video game, before or since. Jeremiah is everything I aspire to be on a metaphysical level.
Prince Froggy
If Prince Froggy had a sin — which is impossible since all frogs are perfect — it would be gluttony. The mid-level boss of World 3 in Yoshi’s Island on the Super Nintendo, Prince Froggy caused his own undoing by eating Shy Guys, which in turn gave a shrunken (previously swallowed) Yoshi ammo with which to attack Prince Froggy’s uvula.
Does Prince Froggy represent the hubris of nobility? The dangers of rampant consumption? Or was he simply a frog, set in his froggy ways of eating and sitting on a lily pad? Things to consider, as you consider Prince Froggy.
Froggy
Not to be confused with Prince Froggy above, Froggy is a young lad from the Sonic series, first appearing in Sonic Adventure. His youth is apparent not only from his vestigial tadpole tale, but also from his propensity for hopping off on his own, much to the despair of his best friend and caretaker, Big the Cat.
We’re pretty sure that Froggy just doesn’t know any better, getting into so much trouble. He is but a wee babe after all, and who among us hasn’t caused undue stress on a loved one by chasing after a tasty bug? As anyone who played Sonic Adventure can attest, the lesson taught to us by Froggy is one of utmost value: Patience.
Slippy Toad
There is a contingency within Star Fox fans that vehemently dislikes Slippy Toad, and we think that’s a bunch of horse hockey. Slippy is a brilliant mechanic and engineer, who is responsible for all of the technology that Fox and crew rely on to perform their duties.
Just because he’s a little exuberant at times and maybe needs to enable push-to-talk on comms, that doesn’t mean he isn’t a loyal and valuable member of Team Star Fox. Y’all need to get your hearts right about Slippy Toad. Slippy Toad good.
Zephos
As friendly as he is ancient, Zephos is the God of Winds in The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. He flies around on a cute little tuft of anime clouds and helps wayward fabled babies like Link gain the power of an amateur orchestra conductor. (Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve played Wind Waker, pretty sure that’s what the deal is.)
Zephos is a rare breed in the pantheon of video game frogs, as he is one of the few to achieve deity status. His brother Cyclos is also a frog god, though not one of Zephos’ benevolent nature. The two represent wind’s duality as both life-giving force and agent of destruction — the breeze that carries pollen; the storm that cracks the oak. Zephos also kinda looks like a pear sometimes. Anyway!
The Frog from Kero Blaster
The Frog from Kero Blaster is the ideal action star. Focused? Check. Unfazed by disaster? Check. Armed with a blaster? Check and unintentionally-rhymed check.
Sometimes dude even has a flamethrower for crying out loud, and he doesn’t even seem to care that it might dry out his delicate, hydration-requiring amphibian skin. He’s willing to do whatever it takes to bring an end to the black squiggly things’ reign of terror, and for that we salute him.
The Frog from Tabikaeru
Last but most-certainly not least, The Frog from Tabikaeru engenders a wholesome wealth of introspection in all that help facilitate his adventures. What are we doing with ourselves while The Frog from Tabikaeru is out experiencing the world? Are we living the best lives we can?
If travel is what matters most to The Frog from Tabikaeru, what matters most to us? Have we ever sat and eaten a tiny sandwich with a field mouse, which wouldn’t seem tiny to us on account of us being a very small frog with a leaf hat?
Will we ever find happiness as pure as buying flowers with a moth? Let me know.
